“Life is a mystery. You cannot understand it unless you surrender, for your intellect cannot grasp its expansive and infinite nature, its real meaning and fullness. Bow down low and be humble; then you will know life’s meaning.” ~ Amma
Oh boy, if I could figure out the way to do that on a more consistent basis, life would be so much easier. But, that’s the point isn’t it? If life was easy, how would we grow and learn and evolve if there were no road blocks to cause us to think about solving the problem of getting around it. Most days, I’m able to keep my truths alive, bright and present. I know that being in the present is where I belong. Not stressing about the future or harping over the past. I’ve lived that way for far too long and now that I have had the experience of living present and in the moment, I like who I am way better. My kids like me better.
Today is a day though that the state of our current life situation is muddled with mistakes of the past jeopardizing our future. In such a case I am finding great difficulty maintaining the present mindset. I feel that weight slowly creeping back into its cozy place on my shoulders. My body tense and anxious; my mind unsettled and unfocused. The amount of responsibilities and obligations I have set for myself currently seem like an insurmountable force, and I doubt in my ability to get it all done while still maintaining a peaceful, clear, focused state of mind.
Breath is a great tool. You think you’re doing it but really, your’re not. It’s an automatic action for your body to perform. When I feel the spiral downward igniting. I stop. Breathe. I let my physical self regulate the breath in and out, it calms the mind and allows me to focus on what’s important. I remember that it was my past actions that put me where I sit now, in the throws of anxiety and frustration. I imagine my ultimate goal in the future, free of these burdens. I see myself in the happiest place I can imagine, doing something I’ve waited for, for a very long time. I come back to the present and decide what it is that will get me from here to there.
Focus. Determination. Balance. Patience. These are the skills I personally need to hone to get to that peaceful place. Focus on the day’s tasks and responsibilities. Be determined to work with the tools I have presently and not be resentful of the tools that I do not possess. Balance my wants and desires with what is necessary to get through the day. Take small moments for myself to stay present and mindful of what is going on around me. Patience to keep traveling my path and that it takes me where I want it to.
Take time to remember yourself. A moment here, or there. Don’t be hard on yourself, even when the evil little voice tells you to. I have this mantra I repeat when that weight begins to take its toll, and somehow it works (most of the time). I am not a slave to the past, but an advocate for a better future.