I had a sad moment today when I realized that I have not been enough of a friend to some people. Thanks to social media, we are more connected than ever to a variety of people from all moments in our lives. My whopping 107 facebook friends includes people I have know for more than twenty years, and some I have actually never met. We’ve all come together in this virtual place to share our lives, pictures, happy and sad moments. We all comment, or like these moments, but rarely do I see more than a surface connection being made.
In the past few months, I have had some very personal moments of ups and downs, and have went to facebook or other social site to share these only to stop myself. Realizing that no one would really give a shit or I would come off as whining, or boastful. Either of which would never be the intention. Sure, most of these moments are shared within my family and inner circle of friends, but to put them out in the cybersphere was too much of a gamble for me and my (most times fragile) psyche. Besides, maybe my FB friends don’t want to talk about MY spiritual growth or MY spiritual journey. So I write them here because, while the initial reason for this blog was to talk about my adventures in starting my own business, it has morphed into so much more.
For anyone that really knows me, they know that my spiritual growth and path through life has been a hard fought one to find. Even now, while I am finally on the path that I feel is right for me, I am running into downed trees and enormous overgrowth that I have to fight my way through. But when I am able to, the most glorious sight always lies on the other side. A bright, beautiful, flourishing path that I am happy to be traveling on. In other words, a light at the end of the tunnel. Its hard to NOT want to tell everyone all the time how to live, especially when you’ve found a way that makes life better overall. And this is something I want to shout to all my social media friends, all the time. Mostly when I see one of them is suffering in some way.
I have two friends in particular that I see struggle with one aspect or another. I read their posts, and my heart breaks for them because I want to be able to help. I want to reach out and say, “Don’t worry! It will be fine!” “Life has a plan,” “It’s you’re path”. But, let’s be honest. When you’re feeling low, isn’t that the last thing you really want to hear? I know that’s how I feel. Sometimes those word of encouragement ring empty, false… and when they come from someone you ‘kinda’ know, or maybe haven’t seen in a long while, they are just words with no real emotional backing. I was one of those people; offering sentiment because I thought it would help. Making myself feel better because I reached out, but then I could turn off the computer and go about my day. However, after encountering one person in particular, I knew that wasn’t enough.
When I first saw her posts earlier this fall, I knew there had to be something more I could do. While I had only met this person one time, I felt a great connection with them. I felt their suffering through the computer and knew that I could do something. I reached out to them through private message, and over the past couple months, I feel like I have gained a soul mate and co-conspirator to life’s mysteries. I hope for the end of their suffering during every meditation. I always try to keep them present in my positive thoughts and energies. And even though some time has passed since our last “chat” I know that we will always be connected.
No one should ever feel alone. It’s probably one of the hardest feelings to fight through. Doesn’t matter if you are surrounded by family and friends. If you don’t feel that connection to someone… that there is someone who TRULY understands the space where your heart and head resides… I think it makes it more difficult to pick yourself back up and move on. Even though I know in my heart I am never really alone, my head doesn’t always believe it. It is getting less and less frequent, and this is something I want to share with these friends. But, maybe they don’t want to hear it right now. I know I don’t when I am living in that space. But when you are ready, I am here to talk if that is what you want to do.
Another day, another rambling post. I guess the closest thing to a point I am trying to make is this: If you see someone’s struggling on a social media site or even in face to face life, don’t be afraid to really give of yourself. You may not have to utter a single word. Just listen. Maybe you have the best advice in the world because you went through just this thing in particular. Keep it to yourself for now. Just be there. Give them your full attention. Wait until they finish. Let them cry it out. Just be there.
I recently finished an amazing book called “Life’s That Way” by Jim Beaver. In a heartbreaking tale of loss, his message rang out loud and clear… don’t offer thoughts or comments that will make you comfortable in an uncomfortable situation. Just be there to offer a tender touch, an empathetic ear or a loving smile. Don’t be afraid to be uncomfortable or awkward. Giving someone your undivided attention, is one of the best and most important gifts of friendship you can give.
Namaste to you all. May your path be filled with less and less obstacles on your journey to the light.